Stop 25: Nha Man, we’re chill.. we don’t want to leave. -- Nha Trang, Vietnam

We took our second night bus from Hoi An to Nha Trang, a beachside resort town where we would spend a few days. We both fell asleep in the bus and awoke to a missing ipod. We began frantically searching in every corner of the bus and were shocked to find one of the bus attendants helping us. He began searching under the bed cushions and when Jen went to lift the driver’s cushion he immediately yelled “no, no, no!” This was a dead giveaway as to the ipod’s location. Sure enough, when we looked under the driver’s seat the ipod was there, turned off and upside down. The driver laughed, realizing that he had been caught red-handed, yet was unbothered by our outrage.  Frustrated but relieved, we began searching for hotels. We eventually settled on a seaside location, joining up with our new Dutch friend, Eva. We napped the rest of the day away and indulged in some serious sushi for dinner (we know, our life is rough).  Thirteen, count ‘em, THIRTEEN rolls… between the three of us, mind you. At night we met up with our other Dutch comrades for drinking and dancing at the Sailing Club. We were officially and entirely surrounded by Dutch people. For some reason (or many reasons) Dutch people seem to love us. Maybe it’s our witty blog writing that captures their hearts or our fantastic asses, we just don’t know.

The next day we visited the long awaited mud baths. This experience involved warm saltwater showers, baths of cool, thin mud, manmade waterfalls and huge warm saltwater swimming pools. Apparently this mud had some life changing skin effects, but we discovered none of them. Instead, we painted each others faces, made dirty jokes (obviously) and bathed in pools of nasty brown sh!t water. We spent the evening with Eat, Pray, Love after chasing it around Southeast Asia for months and watched as Julia Roberts, our fugly counterpart, played out our lives on the big screen.

We met all the Dutch people (did we mention they were Dutch?) in our lives the following morning at Cablecar 12 (haha hop hop idiot). We rode in a cablecar across some rando Asian ocean until we finally arrived at Vin Pearl Island, an uber touristy and creepy Vietnamese water/amusement park like the kind you see in scary movies. Add this to the fact that there were only eight people in this entire complex, and six of them were us, and you have yourself the perfect setting for a C-rated scary flick (Fatty you would have loved it!). We spent the day on the world’s jankiest and least safe waterslides, playing makeshift arcade games and pretending to enjoy the alleged amusement park rides that moved at a snail’s pace. Given the second rate nature of Vin Pearl, we weren’t expecting much from the aquarium. Much to our surprise, though, it housed a tunneled conveyor belt completely surrounding the viewer with sharks, fish and other sea creatures. We watched on as massive chody eels slithered by and Vince, uh we mean turtles, swam above us.

As any good day at the water park should, this one ended with a Mexican feast. Sad news for our Cali readers, though.  Sit down for this one. The “guac” was made from cucumbers, bell peppers and cilantro. What the CUSS?!! The nachos, burritos and quesadillas weren’t much better, but we kept our mouths shut as the Dutchies reveled in their so-called fajitas. Yes, we’ll admit it, we are such food snobs and sorry that we are not sorry. ‘Til next time our little babushkas.